Final Stages of Progression

I've still got a draft for the second MS-DOS article that I need to work on a bit more, but I'd like to just touch on an aside topic for a brief moment. Medical-wise, I recently went through minor ear surgery. I'm expected to go back in on Wednesday to check up on that. I don't expect any major surprises on that front. The real problem is the neurological side.

The writing (well, and socializing, and just.. everything in general) is getting increasingly difficult; I'm losing more of myself on a weekly basis right now. I'm routinely-- as in daily-- finding myself looking at tasks and asking myself, "Why did I skip this part? Oh, wait, no, I didn't. I just forgot I did that just two minutes ago. Literally two minutes and it's already out of my brain."

It definitely feels like I'm at the end of my rope.

Now this next part, I know this is going to piss a few people off, but there's no avoiding it at this point.

I'm fully aware that physiologically I don't deal with stress well at all. The higher my stress level, the more I tend to say things I shouldn't. The people around me don't deserve this, especially with my stress level only increasing from here. I mean, come on, let's be realistic-- how exactly am I not going to stress out right now? How exactly am I going to not be in a full-on panic state?! As such, I've tagged my Discord account for deletion and started to close myself off from the world as much as possible. This is a no-going-back kind of decision; no matter what anyone says, I'm setting myself up for the end of the road.

My initial guess was two years, but at the current rate of decay I'm not sure I'm going to hold out for another year. The decay is extremely visible to ME, and I'm the one with the loss! I should be having a difficult time sensing this. The fact that it's that visible is just a testament as to how much worse things are getting in a hurry.

I'll look into getting a will set up next month. That's going to be critical to avoid everything going straight to hell.

I will.. TRY.. to force myself to get some writing done while I'm still capable of it. Some of it will just be various memories of mine; nothing particularly special in there, just talking about how the world was back when I was a kid. Some of it wil be technical, like the MS-DOS articles. I don't know, some of it may just end up being me talking about things I enjoy. I promised someone a "Beginner's Guide to Castlevania" so I should probably take a bit of time to write on that subject too while I still can.

I'm hoping nobody will notice this post until after the 14 day deletion period is over.. I really don't want to have to argue over what I'm doing; I know this is the right thing to do now. I won't be trying to get a replacement computer, repair what I have, or anything. I'm just going to disappear as quietly as possible with these posts as my final words to the world at large.